My little observations about Malaysia and Malaysians

The one topic currently that's hot in the media is Malaysian politics. 
There's talk about sex, corruption, more sex, women, sex (oh! did I say that already?) mysterious suicides and most recently, on how "irresponsible" wives  are the cause of husbands having extra - marital affairs. 


So like seriously! (oh shit! did I just sound like an ...... bimbo? ) never mind. But yea! like seriously! Who the frucky do they think they are? And isn't there anything else that can be discussed about like maybe... World Peace or maybe on how to improve the economy of Malaysia? Let's see, what about road repairs and the conditions of the roads in Malaysia? The issue with water or maybe even conservation of the 1 Malaysia tradition? I mean.. there's a lot of other topics to talk about. 


I mean... elections is around the corner so everyone wants to look intelligent, give the impression that they are sensitive to the morals of the people and heck! Even to the extent to prove that they are morally, religiously and piously holier than the others in order to win the hearts of the people; but my question is.. will these people be able to live up to the needs of the people as we move ahead in the years? Can our politicians stand next to international leaders and trust that they will lead us, represent us positively? 


It's sad to note that instead of a progressive development, I feel that we've seem to hit a plato. Parents are getting more and more 'kiasu' and children are fighting sleep and even giving up the basics and simples of enjoying their childhood to ensure they bury their heads in the books to succeed for their future. Private education seems to be the key point for every parent with children who are in school or who will be going to school in the next 2 years. Everyone wants a degree, a master and even a PHD.. just to prove to the world that they are "world class". but I ask... what's the point when our own leaders are mere, high school graduates who represent us on the world stage  a daily basis speaking rubbish? 


I had the pleasure of traveling to Brazil a couple of months back. I was proud to be Malaysian during my travel. Proud to talk about Malaysia and speak of it's culture and uniqueness. Heck! I even brought books, photo's and souvenirs that represents Malaysia... but sadly... almost 70% of the people I met, didn't know of Malaysia. Those that knew, made reference to the Twin Towers and Catherine Zeta Jones. To the rest that didn't.. I had to tell them that we were situated in Asia.. and they asked...India? So I had to answer no, we're south of Thailand. "Ahhh.. they replied.. near Singapura!" *sigh*..... 

They Say Food Brings Comfort to the Soul...

it is also something that brings friends and families together. A bond is often strengthen in the presence of food.

My family is no different. In any of our gatherings, food is the highlight of the day...we can be having a meal at one party and our conversation will most certainly about food for the next party we come up with. We've celebrated birthday, religious holidays (it doesn't matter which religion) or even a long weekend with an array of food, sometimes too grand even for our stomachs.

It doesn't help with almost everyone in our family are great cooks. Even the younger generation are champs in the kitchen. Who needs Masterchef? We've got our very own Masterchefs who often whip up a storm. You'll have pies, curries, pastries, cookies, cakes and desserts that even a the best restaurants can't beat. The food is created with passion and most importantly... LOVE.

It is during these occasions that we've all grown to be one close knit family. We've all been there for each other through the happy days,  births, deaths, sickness and even on the days when you just don't feel up to it. We've not always been this way but we are now and that's the most important. Our families are closer and the younger generation are growing in each other's presence which I'm proud off.

I'll never trade a single day for all the memories and most importantly the food that we've shared.

"Life offers you a thousand chances...all you have to do is take one"

Excerpts from "under the tuscan sun"... very apt at this moment. It's all about taking chances and letting go. 


Someone once told me that I should stop thinking... this was of course said in anger and at that moment I broke into a few pieces. But then, I'm a thinker. Of course, when i was told to stop thinking, it was because of a so called bad judgement I had made so I don't think it was meant in a general context of to TOTALLY STOP THINKING! right? 


So I got to thinking... and have been thinking for a couple of days now, ok.. not days, but weeks. Thinking about taking that leap.. taking the chance into the unknown. 


I have these dreams, these ideas... these plans. Which I now realize (or am reminded).. that these aren't dreams.. but instead, chances. And all I have to do is to take one! 

Being at the crossroads

It's been sometime now since I've done any posting up here and the reasons are plenty. Procrastination being the major reason. Procrastination has been a reason for a lot of our shortcomings, often not allowing ourself to achieve or do what we desire to do. 


A year and a half ago, I left what was a stable environment to set out into the unknown. A hard decision to make, but I made that decision and a couple of opportunities fell in place allowing life to take a turn into what I thought was the right direction. But this stable environment is now once again shaken. Shaken by thoughts of wanting more, wanting to know what's out there, wanting to know if there's more to life... thus bringing me to a crossroad. 


So where do I go? The journey to move forward into the unknown scares the S%^$ out of me, but I don't want to look back 10 years from now and wonder "what if I had taken that road.. where will I be now?" 


We all have dream and ambitions. We don't expect to fulfill our dreams by just sitting there, you need to work for it. Nothing in life comes easy... said generations after generations and I believe it to be true. But does that mean taking risk into the unknown? 


My dreams of travel has been strong. We all love travel and I always wanted to do something meaningful in life... I mean.. I use to read about those to go abroad to help the really poor to build schools, teach english and do good. So I thought... hey.. I love life, I love kids.. why not I put my passion for travel to good use and teach English and do some good. But hey! I"m Asian... it's important to own a car, own a house, be somebody and all that other jazz. Hey! The money has been good, I survived, I own a car and I lived alright.. not complaining. But I'm restless again.. 


So now.. at 33 I'm thinking. At a crossroad to do what's right in the eyes of society and what's right for me. 

New Year, New Beginings and New Dreams

It's been a while since my last post and I started writting this on the first day of the new year but I got side tracked and today I'm determined to post this up. This week marked the begining of a lot of things for many and for the rest, it was a continuation of yesterday. With every new year, new hopes, new dreams, new ambitions and new beginings. To some it's cliche` but to many it is an opportunity. An opportunity to right what was wrong, an opportunity to start afresh, to forget the pains, the troubles of last year. 

Many see it as a new begining. A reason to build ambition, to fullfill dreams and hopes. A mark, a right of passage. 

To me, the new year is a time to improve on myself. To be a better person. To do things "out of the box" and out of my comfort zone. 2009 proved to me that I can do what I set out to do. Taking a leap into the unknown, making decisions that may have seemed to have done irrationally but turned out good. 2009 thought me that if I don't try, I will never succeed. I guess you can say, I've pushed myself to the edge, got out of my comfort zone. I did things that I only talked and dreamed of doing. Through that experience, 2009 has matured me, make me a little bit wiser and a little bit stronger in being who I am. 

New friendship were forged with people from half way across the world. A new language is studied, a whole new culture is being taught and with that, I thank my stars of 2009 for giving me the edge. So in the midst of planning for the new start, worrying about tomorrow. Let us not forget to thank. Thank 2009 for the great memories (good or bad), the experiences (no matter how horrowing it may have been), decisions made (be it right or wrong) and most of all, the opportunity to live through the year and to look forward to what's ahead. 

Happy New Year my friends. May this year bring you all that you lacked in the previous years, bring you extra joy, smiles and most of all happiness. And to the world, I wish you peace and solidarity amongst humans. 

The Song Of Life

© By Anonymous
It starts as a blank page, no lines, no words, no notes.
Gradually the staff of life appears, and music around it floats.

The title flickers as a name is given and then takes hold,
A soft steady beat begins, new, yet ancient and old.

It will grow and build during the teen years then in midlife slow,
A melody soft, gently rising high then fading again to low.

Sometimes moving with a frenzy of motion, then only a steady drone,
Each phase of life moves along with a melody and rhythm all it's own.

The harmony of thousands of interests and voices intermixes with this song.
Here a cordial harmony, there a contrapuntal melody from the throng.

There are no repeats, no 2nd endings, the bars move steadily on,
Measuring life's passage, as do the sunset and the dawn.

The beat accelerates, the rhythm driven on before pausing for a bird's eye view,
Feel then the strength in tragedy or joy as it is frozen in review.

Off again with a fanfare of horns, the sounds of life are made,
Crescendoing until the final cymbal crash of the symphony is played.

And when the overture is complete and deaths silence reigns at last,
Will the audience stand and applaud for the song of life which past?

May the music of this life be remembered then with joyful tears,
And may the song be played back often through the passing of the years.

The Purpose in Life

Having had this conversation with a particular friend some weeks ago, I found myself facing this same topic again with this same particular friend. It seems, I have been in zombie mode for the past two week and without me realizing it, it was as obvious as the sun on a bright, shinny hot summer. The truth be told, I hadn't realized that I had sunk into zombie land, I had a lot to thoughts running through my head, yes! but I couldn't place a finger on what the issue was. I am not in a relationship so it's not couple issues, I hadn't fought with friends neither did I fight with parents, job was going ok, not great but ok, financially too I was ok, doing stuff now that I couldn't afford to do earlier so it's not that... so what the hell was it? I'm afraid I didn't have the answer and thought that I'll just let this feeling pass. 


But today... as much as I hate to admit it! but today I think I know the answer. Before having this conversation today, my mind started to wander (as it often does) while driving into work and this particular conversation on our purpose in life and finding happiness does a repeat broadcast in my head. The conversation revovled around finding happiness and the purpose of our life once certain milestones or targets in life has been achieved. The question of "What's Next" was the key point in the conversation. All this as a result of simply spending one weekend at home and realizing that though the time alone and finally having a weekend at home...but it was just not enough. There was still something missing. At first, we brushed it aside by justifying that we're probably adrenaline pumped due to the crazy work week where deadlines were due and we barely had time to take a piss and the sudden fall of activity on the weekend was just a bit of a shock to the system but when we looked further in, there was some truth to the conversation of "what's next? what is the purpose of our life"? 


Again! I hate to admit it but he was right... What is next? I've been trying so hard to force myself to deny that the next step in life is possibly finding a partner to share my days with. But being the rebel that I am and trying hard to not be the norm, I question, again and again... why does it have to be about having a life partner? What is wrong with spending your life alone as an independent women, being happy with your life, traveling, leading life by your own rules, having fun and simply enjoying life and the freedom. But the word ALONE & SINGLE two simple words in the english language but creates such complex in one's life. 


Do we really want to lead and live out the rest of our lives alone and single? Are we going to be happy with all the freedom, the travels, the parties, the various men (and or women!) and everthing else when we're all wrinkled and living out the last days of our lives? What do we look back too? Who are we to share our lives with? Stories, experiences... I guess it is nice to have someone to care for and care for you back. The rebel in me is still fighting to come out and deny all this... "Who needs this"? "Why should I risk a broken heart"? But then... what would life be if we played it safe all the time?


So maybe it is time for me to succumb to the instituion of regular thought! The school of marriage and a family. It's an inner demon that I have to fight with myself... I say I ain't ready, but then... maybe I am but it's because I'm so busy fighting with myself that I just don't realize it. 


Is it really the purpose of life? We are born, we grow up, we grow our first tooth, we walk and we fall. We go to school, fall in love for the first time, have our first heartbreak, finish school, head out to university and start a somewhat independent life, party the night away, drink our livers, experiment with drugs, cigarettes, sex and then we work. What's next? Our days are spent at work, friends, parents, gym.. but for how long? For some who are more ambitious.. work is life, but when you're done at the end of the day, what's next? Is life such a monotony? You climb the corporate ladder but what's next? As my friend says... materials goods can give you happiness all for but a moment... so what kind of happiness do we seek for our lifetime? What is our purpose? 

The Jiwang Feeling

Today, is one of them days when I'm feeling a tad bit jiwang. Maybe it's because I am missing someone deeply.... But! who is it that I'm missing? I'm not quite sure myself but it's just this feeling that you have deep down inside, it's like a missing link. 

It's generally been a no weekend, weekend for me. What it means that it's just been work, work and more work but I ain't complaining. I still managed to fit in my sessions at the gym and the occasional chat with friends. But yet, today seems to be an odd day for me. 


From listening to Jim Brickman, Lionel Richie and now my collection of Back to Love Bossa Moments. I still have a presentation to complete but I can't rid this feeling that I have. 


Isn't it weird that sometimes we have this nagging feeling deep down in our gut, we cant' put our fingers to it, but we know that something's up. It vary's from a bad feeling to just an unexplainable feeling. Some call it our intuition, others just refer you just being overly anxious. So tell me, what do you do when you have such a feeling of loneliness?


This feeling, this unexplainable feeling... it doesn't care if you're married, single, with family and surrounded by friends and loved ones. It still has a way of creeping up toward you and taking you hostage. Some last a couple of hours, while others it can last a few days. So again I ask this question, what do you do? 

Listen to your collection of I tunes and sing your heart out? Or do you just lay in bed and let your mind wander and dream? I'll tell you what I would like to do in situations like these. I would like to pick up a book, play jazz music in the background and have a cup of coffee while reading my book. Immersing my self in my book, going into my alternate reality and eventually falling asleep and hoping that when I wake up the next morning, this feeling will be replaced and I'm back to my silly, goofy and bubbly form. What else can one hope for?